What makes difficult people tick? Do they find it hard to get along with everyone…or just select individuals?

This is an area where I admit openly…I don’t have a clue. Am “I” the one that’s actually difficult to get along with? Jesus, please help me to discern the truth!

Although I don’t have a reliable compass for navigating through such tough relationships, God does.

A few verses come to mind.

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

The message? Forgive and keep on forgiving! Good advice.

Matthew 5:22-24 (NIV)
22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment…
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

The message? Don’t become angry, even with those who seem to be looking for a fight. Don’t harbor a grudge and bitter feeling that will only prove to eat you from the inside. Such grudges are used by the Devil to separate us from God. Instead, sincerely seek reconciliation. If they aren’t open to reconciliation…put it behind you and do your best to live with love in your heart for them.

Here is another lesson worth following. When you get angry with someone, instead of gossiping about it with others (which only tends to make the problem larger than life), dig into God’s word. Allow God to speak to your heart and advise you on the matter. God’s council is infinitely wise and true.

So, what has been your experience in dealing with difficult people? What works? What doesn’t? From someone who desperately needs help in this area…what advise do you have?

One thing I keep seeing is situations where the person (the non-believer) finally tells their parents or friends…and BAM…rejection. Parents and friends stop talking to them (presumably because they are so hurt)..they are shunned.

It leaves me scratching my head in disbelief. I know it happens, but WHY?

God calls us to love each other. God calls us to take care of one another.

How do you think non-believers feel when us Christians, who are supposed to show unconditional love, about face and walk away from the relationship?

From reading the comments, it’s clear that it’s incredibly damaging…not just to the person who’s at a very vulnerable time (spiritual low you might say)…but also damaging to Christianity.

Our reputation should be one of loving people THROUGH a hard time in their life…not walking away. People should know us as the people who didn’t judge, didn’t condemn, didn’t shun.

So, I’ll ask the pink elephant in the room question here: Is there anyone in your family that you have severed relations with because they fell away from the church? Ask yourself…is that what God wants, or is this just my imperfect human way of dealing with difficult situations?

Reach out in love and rebuild the relationship. Don’t try to drag them to church, don’t have your pastor chat with them, don’t try to fix them…just love them and spend time with them. Show them God’s unconditional love and mercy by how you treat them.

Who knows…LIVING the Christian faith may be just the witness they need to someday return to the faith.

To learn more about how you can help reverse negative Christian stereotypes, visit http://www.changingthefaceofchristianity.com. When you get there, JOIN the cause.

Because Josh’s song affects me so much, I thought I’d share some of the lyrics and WHY they are so meaningful to me.

“Can you hear me when I’m calling out your name? I guess sometimes I get the feeling, that I’m all alone, that I’m doing this whole thing on my own…but then,

…you were right there when I need you the most, in the darkness when my hope is lost. I know, I know, that you hear me when I call.”

…and you tell me everything is gonna be OK, you’re right there, you’re right there, you’re right here…always!”

I think this song is so profound because I think of all the years I ran away from God…but He was right there ALWAYS. I had spent so much time running and denying Him that I was in darkness and couldn’t see. When I finally decided to seek Him it’s like the light switch was turned on and there He was…waiting for me.

God is like a loving Father who must be patient as he sees his child rejecting his help and trying to do it “all on my own”. He waits for us to swallow our pride and humbly ask for help. And then, instead of criticizing our pride or stubbornness, he embraces us in unconditional love.

Just like in Josh’s song, when I finally called out to God…He heard me and He forgave me. And now I have Him to walk with and talk with ALWAYS.

Do you ever feel like you are all alone, struggling to get through life all by yourself? Remember, God IS always there. He wants you to love Him just as much as He loves you. But because of His gift of Free Will, it’s a choice you have to make.

Even if you are a life-long Christian, I encourage you to seek Him with ALL of your heart…daily. When you feel like all hope is lost because of growing debt, a job loss, marital problems, or just life’s pressures…turn to God and He will be there.

If you’ve never heard Josh’s music, visit his page on myspace.

Thanks Josh for using your God given talents to bring Joy to my heart. God Bless.

God commands us to love one another (1 John 3:23). Love can be communicated in many different ways… by listening, by helping, through words of encouragement and hope, and through acts of selfless service. But love always starts with ”hello”. When you first meet someone, do you give them undivided attention, or are you looking for the next person to meet?

I can count on one hand the times in my life when I have witnessed someone giving consistent focused attention to a group of new people; treating each person as uniquely important. How about you?

We meet new people at the grocery store, at the pharmacy, standing in line for tickets to a show, waiting for a table at a restaurant, at a power-lunch or networking event, and even at church. How do you make people feel when you first meet them? My suggestion is to first make them feel important to you with your eyes. There are other suggestions, but this is a good first step.

In my church, there is a small time set aside at the beginning of service to ”go shake some hands”. This is where I have most often felt invisible to those new people I’m meeting. For some visualization, imagine you are in a dense fog and all you see coming at you is a hand. So, you start to extend your hand to meet theirs. Now, if you are like me, the next thing you do is look up and see whose hand it is.

This is the moment of truth. Will the person be looking at you as they shake your hand, or will they be looking left, right, or past you for the next hand? The goal is not to ‘’shake as many hands in the next 30 seconds as possible” and the winner gets a prize. It’s about connecting briefly with another human being.

I’m calling you to be the type of person who looks the other person in the eye. When they look up, they should see you looking at them and only them. While you say hello, continue to look at them. In that brief moment, make them feel important with your eyes.

Jesus Christ was quoted as saying ”If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) The practical application today is this: How can you love others if you aren’t even willing to give them your brief undivided attention? If it’s tough to do this in church with fellow believers, how are you possibly going to make non-believers feel important when you meet them?

When it comes to evangelism and connecting with non-believers, I won’t suggest I have it all figured out. But I do know this: true evangelism starts with a loving relationship where the other person feels as important to you as they are to our heavenly Father. The first and possibly only chance you will get to develop such a relationship depends on your eyes. Where are they focused?

My plea is that you let the whole world turn into a thick fog where the only thing you see is the other person’s eyes. In that moment, choose to love them as our Father has commanded, through focused attention. Who knows? The next time you meet them they might actually remember your name and you might remember theirs.

I felt that way last night with my family. Then I was reminded by God that It’s in these times that we are called to Love anyway.

We can change the face of Christianity by loving others…ESPECIALLY when we aren’t feeling loved ourselves. Give it a try, and let me know about your experience.

Now, I knew how NOT too…but how to? I thought for a second and answered… you simply much SHOW God’s love to them. You can’t quote scripture (they don’t believe in the Book), you can’t say “I’ll pray for you” because that’s like telling an Atheist you are from Mars and your name is Shraaaak-neebo-alkkksitar”. It just doesn’t resonate with them. So, the only way to truly win them over is to show them genuine Christianity. The kind where you actually DO love your neighbor in words and actions. The kind where you don’t look and act like every other person in the world.

In my words, you show them the true FACE of christianity….the kind they can’t resist.

So, a quick topic to discuss as a group. What REAL, practical, do-able, genuine acts of Christian Love are you doing for Christians and non-christians alike? Share your best tips!!!

How do you measure up? Christians are called to be role models to our society. How well do you love your spouse, your children (or parents), or complete strangers?

The Bible doesn’t say “Love those who love you” or “Love just those who deserve to be loved”. On the contrary, LOVE must begin and end with you. Let YOUR love be the spark that encourages others to do the same.

In the coming week, just pause now and then and contemplate…”in that conversation or in that action, how well did I show love?” Only by focusing on this Fruit can you hope to Love others as God calls us to.