How to Deal with Difficult People-A Unsolved Mystery?
I think we’ve all encountered them at some point in our lives. Sometimes they are friends, sometimes they are acquaintances or co-workers, and sometimes they are family. I’m talking about Difficult People.
What makes difficult people tick? Do they find it hard to get along with everyone…or just select individuals?
This is an area where I admit openly…I don’t have a clue. Am “I” the one that’s actually difficult to get along with? Jesus, please help me to discern the truth!
Although I don’t have a reliable compass for navigating through such tough relationships, God does.
A few verses come to mind.
Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
The message? Forgive and keep on forgiving! Good advice.
Matthew 5:22-24 (NIV)
22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment…
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
The message? Don’t become angry, even with those who seem to be looking for a fight. Don’t harbor a grudge and bitter feeling that will only prove to eat you from the inside. Such grudges are used by the Devil to separate us from God. Instead, sincerely seek reconciliation. If they aren’t open to reconciliation…put it behind you and do your best to live with love in your heart for them.
Here is another lesson worth following. When you get angry with someone, instead of gossiping about it with others (which only tends to make the problem larger than life), dig into God’s word. Allow God to speak to your heart and advise you on the matter. God’s council is infinitely wise and true.
So, what has been your experience in dealing with difficult people? What works? What doesn’t? From someone who desperately needs help in this area…what advise do you have?
Filed under: General
In regards to reconciliation with one offended…a couple of scriptures come to mind. “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (Prov. 16:7) I’ve done my share of offending and as I humbled myself before the other person and asked for forgiveness I have seen a few relationships restored and even improved with honest repentance on my part. James 1:20 says, “for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” It’s so hard sometimes to accept the fact that we will be rejected or insulted for Christ’s sake. Jesus says we’re blessed in such cases.
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I have had a tough time resolving conflict in my life before being born again. My wife has encouraged me to resolve issues. I had an issue with someone who gossiped and it ate at me for months. I saw a person in one light and a picture was painted in a very dark light. I found that very hard on a daily basis to see this person and work with person. I finally was approached by the individual who painted the darkness in my mind. They had asked if they had offended me in anyway. Praise GOD! I was able to meet with person and clear my mind and heart. I did get an apology, and I forgave that person. However, that does not give way to trusting them with my innermost thoughts. My wife has suggested that is wisdom, that I should be guarded when speaking to this person. looking back on all this I would ahve to say. Don’t speak until you get a clear vision and sgin from God or the Holy Spirit to address the situation. Don’t go it alone. Pray seek SOUND council. God offered the opportunity for me to resolve a situation. Most importantly learn from it and apply it to your life. Be watchful because satan may use that very offense or situation to expose you in the same light as the offender you just forgave. Continue to seek God
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