Imagine living a life where you are always in a hurry, stressed out, and never able to relax. Imagine going on a vacation and not knowing how to be still and do nothing. Visualizing this might not be too difficult for you. In fact, it may be hitting so close to home that you secretly wonder if I’ve been spying on you and talking to your friends. If you can relate to this, then you may be suffering from addiction to “busyness”.
As with any addiction, there are usually some short-term benefits. The benefits of busyness as I see them are
- The illusion of getting ahead
- The sense of being important or known as “highly productive”
- The feeling of being in control of your future
All of these “benefits” are counterfeits. You are trading real joy for counterfeit joy. Here is how to tell the difference. Ask yourself: “When was the last time I felt joy?” And, “Was this joy directly connected to my busyness?” The answers are typically “a long time ago” and “No!”
If you actually got “ahead”, would you pause and rest a little…or just keep pressing forward to get even more “ahead”? Most of the people I know that are running around busy all the time, trying to be in control, actually appear the most out of control. Instead of having a balanced life, one thing usually dominates their life and everything else suffers.
It’s time to start living a new, joyful life. But first, let’s talk about what busyness really costs you.
- Busyness robs you of a deep connection and relationship with God. If you are too busy for your spouse, your kids, your extended family and friends, where will God end up on your priority list? How can you be sensitive to God’s voice if you are always on the go?
- Busyness robs you of quality time with friends and family. Busyness usually revolves around jobs, projects, tasks, or activities…not around the important people in your life. (Read Luke 10:38-42)
- Busyness robs you of time for reading the Bible and quiet times of contemplation and prayer. Even if you do make time for such things, you likely feel rushed to get through them…which diminishes the value and purpose behind them.
So, to achieve a close relationship with God, your family, and important friends, start living a new life. Here are three timeless principles for eliminating busyness in your life:
- Establish your priorities
- Learn to say NO!
- Lower the bar
To establish priorities, focus on what’s really most important to you. Think results. If your family is your most important priority, then make them the priority. When your child asks for help or maybe just your attention…give it to them. If God is your highest priority, then give Him the BEST part of your day. Read His word and talk with Him when you are most alert or most able to focus. Don’t put that time off until the end of the day when you are worn out from all of life’s lower priorities.
Learn to say No! Ah…now that’s a tough one isn’t it? Most people have a natural desire to be liked. So, we tend to say yes to other people, even when we want to say no. This is going to sound odd, but saying No is not about saying No. It’s about saying YES to your priorities and values, and saying No to things that are not. So, when someone asks you do to something in line with your priorities and values, and it won’t stretch you too thin, then certainly say yes. But when you are already overcommitted or presented with an opportunity which would sacrifice your higher priorities, then you must get into a habit of saying No. For those of you that are “No! Challenged” try saying “let me think about that and get back to you”. Then later, when you have more courage, tell them No!
Finally, lower the bar. Perfectionism plays a large part in our addiction to busyness. If we weren’t working so hard to make everything “just right”, we would have more time to relax. I learned this when I started to delegate tasks at work. I might have done things much better, but the other person did just fine. And no one noticed any lowering of quality. Much of the quality I was striving for was noticed only by a select few. So, do yourself a favor and lower the standard to a “mere human” level. If this might be a challenge for you, find a friend in your life that doesn’t seem to be struggling with busyness, and ask them to help you.
Again, it goes back to what’s important. At a birthday party, is it important that the kids have fun running around going crazy and get to eat something yummy? Or is it important that the tablecloth, napkins, cups, and balloons match perfectly and everything is timed just right? Is it important that everyone receives a birthday invitation that is custom made, with a hand crafted poem, the perfect picture of your little angle, personally signed using calligraphy? Or is it important to simply inform people of the date, time, and place? Use email, use facebook, pick up the phone, etc. Just lower the bar.
Remember, what’s at stake here is your joy, and a deeper connection with God, and the important people in your life. Establish your priorities, learn to say No!, and lower the bar. Give this a try for 30 days and let me know what a difference it makes in your life. It’s guaranteed!
Filed under: General, Luke